Sunday, December 10, 2006

Madge the chinchilla

chinchilla"It may be that Madonna, tiring of herself as we all are, wishes to become a chinchilla and is, with typical subtlety, expressing this desire through her clothing. In which case she should surely be encouraged. Chinchillas are modest, intelligent and unassuming little mammals, never happier than when skittering across the rocky Andes, gnawing on seeds.

That seems to me more socially useful than churning out third-division anodyne disco music and coffee-table soft porn, moaning about the British weather and buying small black children. Whether she will be successful in her attempt to become a chinchilla is open to question — but there is one reliable method of finding out. When threatened, chinchillas emit a curious high-pitched bark and a stream of sulphurous urine. If you bump into Madonna, threaten to electrocute her and see if she reacts the same way." —Rod Liddle

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