Whoever says crime doesn't pay has obviously never met Lord Stevens

"Last week Lord Stevens published his reportedly long-awaited report into the death of Diana, Princess of Wales, an event he finally felt confident enough to declare was not the result of a conspiracy. The more cavalier among us might venture that any plot that could be foiled by a seatbelt could never exactly be described as fiendish, but it is a credit to Stevens that he spent £3.69m of public money establishing this via painstaking investigation, interviews with French embalmers, and a memorable photo opportunity that saw him walking through the Alma underpass in Paris with an expression of sombre thought one could class only as 'very Morse'." —Marina Hyde